B’s dad was an amazing man. Yesterday was his birthday and we celebrated his life. We go to his grave and let balloons fly up to him, we go to dinner and spend time as a family.
I wish that I would have had the chance to know him on this earth. We would have been really good friends.
In some ways, I feel like I do know him. I see him in B. I see the family he devoted his life too. I see how bad people miss him, especially his family, and they love him dearly and talk about how much he impacted their lives. I have felt his presence and influence. Especially when B and I were dating, we knew that he helped us to find one another, at the very perfect time. He was present in the temple when we were married. When I am quiet and peaceful, I know he would be pleased with Ben and I and the life we are creating. I know that he is aware of us and loves us. I have read some of his journals. I have listened to his music. I have heard stores about him. I see him in my husband, B’s goodness, kindness, strength and desires I know come in large part from his amazing dad.
Sometimes I wonder why both B&I have lost a parent in our 20′s. I don’t really know the answers of why two beautiful lives were cut so short.
But, I do know that loosing them has helped us both to grow and to learn to trust the Lord and in HIS plan and HIS timing.
And I know we are still connected to our loved ones. They are closer than we realize. And when I am calm and quiet I can feel their presence and love for us.
A very sweet letter from Kent to his family I wanted to include here. We love you Kento and miss you!
February 28, 2007:“Dear Family,“Too many of you to call, so we will talk email. I will have a hard time finding the words to adequately say all I’d like to say tonight. The spirit whispered to me some time ago what the results would be today, so I am calm as a summer’s morn. I really wasn’t sure, but I had a pretty good idea. The last round of treatments have been ineffective. The tumors in my liver are much larger, there are some 20 small tumors appearing in my lungs, and my spinal situation will be evaluated Friday…“We’ve known from the beginning that this type of cancer has never been cured. We have had so many small miracles over the past year, that I can’t count them. It has been a marvelous year.“My name has been on the temple prayer rolls literally thousands of times. Earnest petitions to Heavenly Father have been offered daily by hundreds. It is overwhelming to hear the stories. And I know my family has been among the most earnest. I have had powerful priesthood blessings. I have tried to eat, think, and be as smart in my treatment as I can. I have had the most loving care and counsel from very intelligent sources. Some, very close friends. I have been in the temple myself nearly every week this past year, and very frequently for many years prior. I have felt the love of the Savior more profoundly than ever in my life. I’m telling you all this so you will know that I know, that this is certainly in the Lord’s hands. As I have plead for blessings and healing, I have been overcome with a desire – stronger than my desire to live – to do the Lord’s will.“But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things” (2 Nephi 2:24) As Nephi said, so say I, “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever”.“I don’t know how long I have. It could be a few months, or a year. But I suspect I don’t have that long. We have been blessed to be prepared for this in every way… financially, spiritually, emotionally. With the rich life I have been blessed with over the past 52 years, I am certain that I wouldn’t trade my life for any man. I really mean that. Thirty-three years ago, I fell in love with the Savior of the World. And that love and my desire to serve Him has blossomed greater every year since. He is my shadow by day, and my pillar by night, my king, my deliverer, my all. I am certain that we will all be in his presence sooner than we think, and it will seem that this life went by in the twinkling of an eye. Julie is broken hearted, but she is being a rock. she has known trouble many times before, and is made of fine steel.“I love you with all my heart. Memories of you and my love for you is what makes the 52 years so sweet. Please don’t see this letter as my resigning and giving up. I will live every second I can, and I am assured that I will not be taken until I have finished my work on the earth.“All my love,Kent”